I have included this page here on the blog so that people who are trying to discern if they are called to a vocation in religious life can look at what’s here and leave comments and questions.
I think everyone who is paying attention knows that there is a shortage of vocations to the priesthood and religious life in the Church, but I know that people are still being called.
So, I decided that instead of rambling on about what I believe a vocation is, and what advice I might give to a person who is considering this life, I would make a film and let our Sisters speak.
I have broken this up into two films just so it fits here more easily.
done
My 14 year old daughter recently announced that she has a vocation. Though I’ve recently seen an uptick in daily Mass attendance and an increased focus on educational achievement, she is, otherwise, a typical teen, with interests in music, sports, etc. She has a genuine love for the Dominican Sisters at her school. I am worried that she is way too young to be making decisions on life commitments and that the vocation idea is nothing more than a passing fancy, much like a “crush” on a cute boy. I am worried that her love for the Sisters will close her off from considering the many options and gifts that life has to offer. And, I feel like I’m losing my daughter, since she is unwilling to discuss her vocation, and is somewhat distant from me. The Order in which she is interested seems to promote distancing yourself from family. Can you give me any guidance on my worries?
Dear Worried Dad,
Hi. This is a very interesting question. It is not really usual for someone so young to wish to be a religious these days, but that doesn’t mean that your daughter doesn’t have a vocation to religious life. Still, I think many things come and go in the life of a 14 year old. She may want to be a Sister this year, or even this month, and then something else will come along.
Anyway… here is what I can offer in terms of advice:
1. Your daughter will not be able to enter a religious community until she is at least 18 and so she has a lot of time before this decision can be made a reality.
2. The time between entering a religious community and making vows is about 3 years for first vows (or temporary vows) and then a minimum of 3 years for final vows. So, even if she decides to enter at 18, she will not be able to be perpetually professed until she is around 24 years old. That means that she would have a lot of time to live the life of a religious before making a permanent commitment.
3. I guess when it comes to your daughter’s unwillingness to discuss her dreams, I would wonder what has been the experience in the past. Has she discussed it before only to be met with uneasiness and discomfort, or even negativity? If she feels that you are only going to tell her how worried you are and why perhaps she should wait to think about this, she probably won’t want to discuss it further. I don’t know if this is the case, or that maybe she is just being a typical 14 year old who doesn’t want to talk to her parents.
4. The piece about the order being interested in promoting a distance between its Sisters and their families seems troubling. I didn’t know there were communities that still did that. What does this community do that has you thinking this? At some point, if it really seems that your daughter wants to enter this community, you may want to open a discussion about that.
One question I would have about your situation is whether you yourself are open to the idea that your daughter may have a calling to religious life. It may be that God is calling your daughter. It may be, as you said, a passing fancy, but either way, maybe it would be a good idea to consider whether you would be supportive of her decision.
I hope that helps. I am not a parent, and so I cannot speak from that perspective, but I can tell you that for me, this life has been an enormous blessing, and I know my parents and family feel the same way.
Peace to you,
Sr. Judy
ever since i was young i always wanted to be nun,i am 25.
Dear Elizabeth,
Have you considered visiting a religious community?
Sometimes just paying a visit for a few days to a religious community can tell a person a lot about whether she feels she is called to this life or not.
Much peace,
Sr. Judy
Dear Worried Dad,
I would like to add to what Sr. Judy said. Well, first off, actually, I would like to say that it isn’t THAT unusual for youth to wish to be religious if they actually have positive exposure to any relgious persons. I have a 16 year old sister and a friend of the same age who have both visited several convents already, and I know of other youth even younger who have voiced a willingness to follow a religious vocation. I spent about two years discerning a call myself and I am only 20 years old now.
Your daughter, like Sr. Judy said, has a LOT of time to discern her vocation. And she is very likely to find herself wavering back and forth even if she does have a call. She will go from excited to afraid to impatient to stressed. What she needs the most now is unbaised support. She needs the reassurance that you will support her no matter what her vocation might be.
I would also suggest that, if she doesn’t already have one, she get a spiritual director. It would help her immensely in seeing if her calling is from God or if it’s just a passing whim. God bless and good luck!
In Christ,
Angela
Dear Angela,
Hi. Excellent comment. I am happy to hear of other young women interested in religious life. They say there’s an upsurge, so maybe more young people are listening out for God’s call!
Much peace,
Sr. Judy