Hi. I am Sister Judy Connor, CDP and this is how I became a Sister.
Many of our Sisters knew from a young age that they wanted to become Sisters. They went to Catholic schools and knew Sisters while growing up. Their families were devout Catholics, and they may have had aunts or older sisters who entered religious life.
I, on the other hand, did not grow up with any kind of aspiration to become a religious Sister. I went to public school, a state college, and I am from a Catholic family that was only sporadically practicing (meaning that we made the sacraments and attended mass mostly on holidays). In fact, I was never even acquainted with a Sister until I was 27 years old. (Strangely, however, I did think about what it might be like to be a nun when I was in high school, and when I took an aptitude test in my junior year, one of the suggestions was ‘nun’. At the time, my friends and I really laughed about that. I did not so much as hint to them that had wondered about it.)
I grew up in a small town near the New Jersey shore as the youngest of eight children. After finishing high school, I moved with my parents, who were retiring, to South Carolina. There, I attended the University of South Carolina, majoring in Sociology, with plans to become a social worker.
For as long as I can recall, I have always had a strong interest in social justice, and serving the needs of the less fortunate. In my earlier life, however, this interest in the welfare of others had nothing whatsoever to do with God, or any knowledge of the Gospels. I have an older sister who was, and is, passionate believer in the rights and dignity of all human beings, and I simply wanted to be like her.
After college, I did become a social worker, or case manager as my position was called, for the Department of Mental Retardation in South Carolina. It was a decent job that was both challenging and fulfilling and I enjoyed it. I took an apartment with a roommate who was also a good friend and things seemed to be moving along as planned.
What I did not plan on, however, was what began to occur over the next few years. Although I was happy with my friends, my job, and my life’s circumstances, there was this restlessness. I felt something vaguely missing. There seemed to be a slow growing desire inside me that made me know that there was something else out there, and even though I did not know what is was, I ached for it.
It was also during this time that I became friends with a number of people who were serious about their Christian faith. At first, I was willing to be friends with these people in spite of that. I mean, they were nice enough, and as long as they didn’t try to club me over the head with their beliefs, I was willing to overlook it. As time went on, however, I paid more attention to what they were saying when they spoke of their faith. Something spiritual was happening within me and I found myself wanting to know more. I started attending Mass and even though I didn’t know what I was getting out of it, I went, however irregularly. After some time, I joined a bible study, a book discussion group, and a singles group at my parish.
As it turned out, what I was aching for was a life of service rooted in the Gospels. The more I came to know who Jesus was and is, the more I knew that He was absolutely radical, and the more I wanted to be like Him. I wanted to lay down my life in service to others, and I increasingly began to think in terms of God’s will for me. Still, I knew nothing of religious life and it did not cross my mind to consider this as a possibility.
Then, one Sunday, I came across an advertisement in my church bulletin for a volunteer service opportunity with the Daughters of Charity. I knew I needed to do something, and so I decided to check it out. That summer, I went from South Carolina to Baltimore and spent two weeks living in one of their convents and working in an inner city soup kitchen.It was there in that soup kitchen that it was first suggested to me that I look for the face of Christ in the poor. That suggestion changed me. It changed the way I thought about and approached service. It was there with those Sisters that I first experienced what it meant to be a part of an intentional faith community, and that there was even such a thing as communal prayer. It was there, too, that I first became aware of a possible call to religious life.
That was in July, and in the following January, I left South Carolina to go to Baltimore and enter religious life. Just so you know that things rarely happen in a total straight line, I ended up leaving the Daughters of Charity after just over two years. I won’t say that it wasn’t difficult because it was, but no one promised that there wouldn’t be obstacles and disappointments along the way. That’s just part of the journey. The important thing is to continue to seek the will of God, even when it’s hard. Maybe even especially when it’s hard.
So, in spite of what happened, I continued to believe that God was calling me to a vocation in religious life. In 1997, I met the Sisters of Divine Providence, and decided to become a long-term volunteer with them. I figured that I could still do service and also continue to discern this vocation of mine. Well, as time went by, I developed a relationship with this community that has proved to be lasting. I entered in 1999, and professed my final vows in 2004.
So, here I am in Pittsburgh. I live in a small local community and I am the director of the Providence Companions in Mission program. I try to grow each day in my understanding of service and of God. Of course I fail a lot, but that’s not as important as not giving up.
Being a member of the Sisters of Divine Providence has allowed me all the goodness that comes from being a part of an intentional faith community. (One of our Sisters is always saying that we may not have it all together, but together we have it all.) I am supported in my prayer and service by the community, and I have the privilege of supporting the other Sisters as well. There is so much that can and is shared in a community and because we are here to bear one another’s burdens, we are all more available for the mission.
I have to say that to this day I occasionally consider the reality that I actually became a nun and think that it’s kind of unbelievable. Still, these days I can’t imagine my life without this community.
You are an inspiration to me. I have thought about being a nun throughout my life. Even though, my calling was to become a wife, I still enjoy reading about ladies who have a religious vocation. Thank you.
A
I am struck by the courage you showed in listening to the “still, small voice” despite obstacles. How many of us turn away in fear of what may be required?
You took a long hard road, one that very few are willing to take. I am glad to have read your story. It was very inspiring.
Thanks Adrian, MaryBeth, and Sara, all for your comments.
Really, I guess we’ve all had hard roads in places. I know many who have come much further than I have that’s for sure. I have been told that it’s not at all the rough places that make us who we are, but how we choose to respond when they come up. I really think that this is true.
When you think about it this way, no matter what, every life is worth living because a good or a bad life is not dependent on all the sunshine or rain that befalls it.
I know in my life that I have responded both well and badly to the difficulties of my life at different times. I think that the best we can do is to just acknowledge who we’ve been (both the good and the not so good), learn what we can from it, and move on, trusting that God will continue to love us no matter what.
Anyway, thanks much for your comments.
In the Peace of Christ,
Sr. Judy
Dear Judy,
It is a joy to see your website. I am sooooooo happy that you are a Sister of Providence and happy being a religious. I don’t know if you remember me, but I wish you the best! Blessings, Ann Claire, DC
Dear Judy,
What a joy to hear about this phase of your journey of faith amidst the challenges. Congratulations on this wonderful cyber-ministry of connecting and reconnecting with many. I am proud of you and very happy for you in being a Sister of Providence. The ways of God are mysterious!! God bless!
Betty Ann, DC
Hello, this really was beautiful for me to read, it opened my eyes and touched me. I have thought about becoming a nun for awhile… but i’m terrified. I love children more than anything, so i’m thinking becoming a mother is what God could be leading me towards. I’m 19 and i’m going to school for art and psychology. Prayer is most important to me, it always has been… and i’ve felt this tug for sometime… especially when i pray- i have this deep heartfelt moan that my worldy desires hold me back from the selfless person i want to be . My faith is in the truth that God will lead me
I really appreciated reading your story. Thank you for sharing your beauty
Peace be with you…
Bethanie Louwagie
hi Sr. Judy,i am an aspirant in a Dominican Sisters congregation here in the Philippines. reading your vocation story was somehow reading mine. though i do have a cousin who is a priest, and i grew up in a devout catholic family, i never imagined that i would pursue being a sister/nun. Just like you, i dont recall feeling called to this vocation during childhood (which was the case for majority of the sisters in my chosen congregation) . I was in highschool while attending a Eucharistic Congress when i was first exposed to nuns. They left me a good lasting impression and I wondered what they do aside from attending religious conferences, eucharistic celebration, etc. Once in a while, when I least expected, i wondered if I can be one. But it was something i did not take seriously. i got my degree and took a corporate job. I was active in church and was enjoying my life with family and friends…and yet, something was amiss. What you wrote above captures the feeling perfectly. To quote you -
“Although I was happy with my friends, my job, and my life’s circumstances, there was this restlessness. I felt something vaguely missing. ”
i know I’ve got a long long way to go here, but with God’s grace, i hope to be just like you and the rest of the sisters (and the rest of the faithful) who are united to be willing laborers of His bountiful harvest.
***sorry for the long comment, i got carried away! =)
Your family was large and your parents must’ve inspired a love of the needy in their everyday lives. I wonder about your older role modeling sister…how is she? I too, have a role model in my big sis, Silvia. She inspires me to walk the walk and not just talk and think so much! Please pray for us and my other sibs. God is loving you and thank you for your role modeling and openess in sharing your true self. Keep on keeping on!
Dear Jeannine,
Hi and thank you for your comment. My older sister is doing very well. She has been a schoolteacher for more than thirty years now, has raised three girls, and remains a kind and decent person.
I will pray for you, and thank you again for your comment.
Peace to you,
Sr. Judy
Wow, Sr. Judy!
What a great story. You seem to be able to capture the feeling of one who has a religious vocation. I never had to do the part of selecting an order; I guess God just put me right where He wanted me from the start, and Salesian life has been full of adventure and joy for me, as well as the knowledge that my life is entirely for the young!
Let’s pray for one another – that we can be faithful, lighting the way for many more who feel that same “restlessness”.
God bless you!~
sr. colleen, fma
Dear Sr. Colleen,
Hi and thank you for your nice comment. I pray, as I am sure you do, for all those in discernment each and everyday. I wish more people knew what a good life we have.
Peace to you,
Sr. Judy
Hi Judy – I’m glad I ran across this website. Give me a holla sometime at this email address. Your Baltimore friend from the Genesis Retreat
Hello, Sister Judy! I was pleased to come across your website and look forward to checking in to see what you have to share.
I am a Secular Discalced Carmelite, having made my Final Promise two years ago. I am a convert and feel so blessed to have come home to the Church.
God bless
Patricia
Thanks for sharing yourself in this post. Im recently just coming back to the “faith” after feeling the same tug you described. I grew up Catholic, married a protestant and have been somewhat of a methodist for the past 5 years.
I feeled called back home to the faith but I must admit I feel scared, confused and uncomfortable -but somehow I just keep feeling my way through. You story was encouraging!
wow – reading your story was eerie because it reminded me a bunch of my own life.
my family isnt very religious, i attend public school, and i have never even met a nun, but i keep thinking about becoming one (even though i am too afraid to tell anyone i know).
your website has is very cool and has been extremely helpful…
would you have any advice for me?
i am only fourteen, (and if i dont finish high school + college my father will never forgive me), so i have got a lot of time to think about this.
thank you so much for any help,
Caroline
Hi Caroline. I think it’s great that you are thinking about being a nun, and your dad is right that you should at least finish high school.
What I think is that if your family isn’t very religious and yet you are still thinking about religious life, it has to be the voice of God inside you. That doesn’t mean that it will work out that you join religious life…maybe you will, maybe you won’t… but you are absolutely being called to search for God in your life. That is a great thing.
If you want, you can write to me anytime to talk about things that you want to talk over. Don’t feel like you have to go around telling people if you are uncomfortable.
Write anytime!
Peace,
Sr. Judy
I think, even for mere cultural reasons, you should visit the chapel that is the subject of the web site I mention. Not too far from you, with sisters in traditional dress. I was impressed in hearing your own story and made me think you may enjoy the visit.
Sorry, http://www.stdominicchapel.com in Michigan.
Hi Sr. Judy. Thank you so much for sharing your story! I’m in the process of discerning my vocation at the moment and in conversations with the sisters, I’m finding that most of them went to Catholic school, are from very Catholic families and knew they wanted to be sisters while they were growing up. I went to public school, have a very religious non-denominational mother and only thought about being a nun in passing when I was in high school. We were active in our parish, but Catholic “culture” was a complete mystery to me until I entered college. Like you, I was happy with life, but started to feel a pull toward something more. I’d always felt pulled toward God and the Church, but didn’t know how to act upon it.
I had to laugh about your finding the Daughters of Charity in an ad in the Sunday bulletin because that’s exactly how I found them. Except that I had to find it three times before I acted
It’s an unconventional way to find a community, but the ad did get me there. It’s the spirit and service of the sisters that keeps me going back. Anyway, God does work in mysterious ways. Thanks for sharing your story and providing an example similar to my own. God bless. Whitney
Dear Whitney,
Hi. I wish you all the best in your vocation! Much peace and God bless you. Thanks for writing.
Sr. Judy